Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Live like I was dying...

Today Stephanie and I were texting back and forth. We were talking about hanging laundry on the line (Yup....we lead exciting lives here in Van Wert), and I told her that at the beginning of the season I had to buy a new rope for our clothesline after the neighbor kids broke ours. 
I said that it really upset me when I bought it. Not because I was spending the money, but I couldn't stop thinking about Jason. 
The same was true after my Grandpa Barnhart died, I couldn't get to an intersection without stopping much longer than needed. 
I no longer cry every time I think of their deaths, but I do still miss them. 
I don't dwell on how they died, but how they lived. 
I can't dwell on how they died. 
They are both still talked about. We didn't bury them then forget them. 
I started to think, how will I be remembered when I'm gone? 
Will my kids think I was too busy for them? 
Did I think more of the mess they were making, and not the fun they were having?
Am I too worried about their clothes dirty to let them do what they were wanting to do?

Did I not have people over because they might see dust on my pictures?
Was I too busy to blow bubbles with the kids? 

Too busy trying to stay dry to stop and dance in the rain?
Was I too worried about raising the perfect kids, that I corrected when I should have listened? Or just reminded myself that they are still kids?
Was there times I should have said "ok" instead of "No way!"
Were there times I was wanting to get the perfect picture to stop and enjoy the moment?
Was I too busy trying to LOOK right, to LIVE right? 
Like our kids, God wants our time, He wants US, not our spotless house. 
Too often we want to talk ABOUT someone, rather than talk to them. 

How will you be remembered?