Monday, November 9, 2009

Dreams

I realized today, I am living my dream.
Growing up I wanted to be a wife and a Mom.
Sure there was a time I thought I wanted to be a high school math teacher. But at night, when my dreams started, I'd dream of meeting Mr. Right, and becoming his wife. And then someday becoming a Mom.
Now is my someday.
I watch my lil boy walk around in circles.
I hold a lil girl who smiles in her sleep and I wonder what she's dreaming about.
Sure, I didn't even get my bath until after midnight last night, I was up in the middle of the night, and was up early.
But...I wouldnt trade it for anything.
I get out of the shower this morning to find the clothes I'd nicely folded all over the floor (Thanks Nehemiah!) But...I wouldnt trade it. I have a family that I am able to buy clothes for.
Nehemiah has so many toys that I KNOW he hasnt played with most of them.
But I have the means to buy him these toys, I have a happy lil boy who can play with them.
I haven't worked since May of 2008, and we're doing great.
Sure there have been times we thought things were gonna be tight. We've had bills come that we never knew we were gonna get, our car needs repairs, our dryer breaks. But, ya know? God always provides for us. We've never gone without food, we've always been dressed in CLEAN clothes.
Sure my house isn't spotless...somedays I think I've given up. But, it's a happy home. It's clean...just not spotless.
I don't think I'm looking forward to the day it's spotless...it means there are no kids here.
No little hands pulling out toys I've just put away.
No little mouths that need feed.
No music playing.
No little feet to dance with.
No little boy pretending he's talking on the phone to his "Daddeeeeeeeee" or his uncle, Jesse.
The orange blanket will be a memory, something captured in pictures.
My little girl will become a woman, she'll be dreaming of her Prince Charming, her kids.
She'll grow up, and I pray she never strays from what her Dad and I will teach her.
I pray she's as happy as her big brother.
I pray I'm someone she has confidence in.
That she can come to me for help.
But for now,
I'll enjoy living my dream!

6 comments:

  1. I love this. You've captured what this time in all our lives is like. And reminded me WHY I chose this path.

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  2. Bravo Maria! Nicely written.

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  3. Very true. some day i hope to find that same happynes

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  4. Angel, Thanks. :) I was being all sentimental and making myself sad thinking about when they were older...and realized, I need to enjoy every moment! :)

    Stephanie, *bow bow*

    Em, You will! Right now enjoy being married! Don't worry about the "someday" enjoy your "today" :)

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  5. This made me cry and it could partly be because I am just on an emotional rollacoaster but.. it really made me realize that those times I complain, I shouldn't. I am so very blessed to be a mom and I love it even when I'm tired and having "bad" days. Nothing is better than seeing my lil girl smile and soon to see my lil boy. You posting this was just what I needed to gain some perspective. :)

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  6. LoL I know Karisha!!! Sometimes as I'm changing their diapers I remind myself that I have the money to afford diapers, and when it's a dirty diaper I think "At least he/she isn't constipated" Nice eh? LOL! I haven't come up with anything for when I'm changing her and she goes while I'm changing. Actually she hasnt done that in a long time...so maybe that's what I should remind myself! ;)

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