Sometimes I wonder who people see when they look at me.
Do they see a Mother, with three little ones.
A wife, who is trying her hardest to be submissive.
A sister, who is missing a sibling.
Do they look at me and think, "There is the woman who is living in a hotel"
Do they think I'm happy, sad, hurt, confused.
We are who we are because of those who are in our lives. Without Alex, I wouldn't be a wife.
Without Nehemiah, Virginia and Jana, I wouldn't be a Mom.
Without my parents, I wouldn't be a daughter.
Without Stephanie, Nicole, Joseph, Jason, Jordan and Jesse, I wouldn't be a sister.
Without Micah, Adaliah, Jadyn, and Titus, I wouldn't be an Aunt.
Earlier tonight I dropped my brother off at the school and saw a girl, and I wondered if she knew Jason, and wondered if she looked at me as a girl who lost her brother.
Thing is, I didn't lose my brother, I know where he is. I KNOW I'll see him again. It was a terrible day that Jason left this World, but he's rejoicing and waiting.
But still I wonder, have people forgotten him? Or do they look at me with pity?
Do they look at me and wonder if I've lost my mind for having a 3 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 month old.
I hear so many negative comments about having children that close that people don't stop to hear that I love it. I cannot imagine my life without these three blessings.
Do people see that I adore my husband? Do they notice that I struggle to be a better wife? Can they tell that he makes me so happy, but he's also the one who could break my heart if he wanted to.
Do people pity me, or are they jealous? Can they see the bags under my eyes from staying up too late, worrying about things that will wait until tomorrow. Can they tell that I was up countless times with my kids, because they need me, they're hungry, thristy, in need of the bathroom?
Or....do they see me? A Wife, a Mom, a Sister, cousin, friend, aunt, daughter-in-law, neice, a person who needs loved.