Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Jason Timothy Daniels


I got the call last week. Just a week ago.
You chose a different way than we would have liked.
You decided you wanted to go Home, and God welcomed you.
You know, I can remember right where I was....but I cannot remember for the life of me what I was doing. I think I was cutting an onion for supper....or doing dishes. All I know is, I will NEVER forget hearing Mom screaming and sobbing to tell me the news.
Jason, we all loved you so much.
Nehemiah asked me last night where you were. And, he wears the boots you got him all the time. He calls them his "Jason boots"

I saw you just the day before when I picked up Jordan for football practice. You came out to see my kids, and pick on Stephen. You were acting like a kid, happy, the way I want to remember you. You had the cheesiest smile on your face.
It rained the day of your Memorial. I prayed that it would. Jason, if you could have seen how many people were there, maybe you'd know how much you meant to people.
I know you can't read this, and I know I'm doing this to put my thoughts down.
I'll never forget the love you had for kids and animals. As someone once said, you love the innocent.
We know you're happy, not hurt anymore. But we're left to pick up the pieces. Dad cleaned your truck out yesterday. He pulled it from the backyard into the front and it sounded like you coming home.
I know someday we'll join you.
Maybe in the meantime you're fixing another diesel truck, or riding a horse.
It's not the same down here without you.
Mom and Dad had the song you wrote recited at the service. And Dad wrote you a letter. Maybe someday I'll put them on here.
A teacher gave Jordan a poem you'd written last year.
Through all the things we've found of yours, you always talked of God's love. You were hurt, and torn up inside, but you never blamed God.
I heard a minister say once that we view God how we view our Fathers, so I pray that you knew how much Dad loved you, and Mom, and your sisters, and Brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, and so many, many more people are left with an empty spot in their life now that you are gone.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Maria, I cry with you! As you said, we just don't understand why it had to be this way. And I am sure the question "why" will be bouncing around in your head for a very long time. Just remember, that though this has shaken you, your family and the rest of us, it has NOT shaken God. He alone knows why...He knows the end from the begining. I know you are going to have good days of remembering with a smile and then there are going to be the days where the tears just wont stop. My heart aches for you and your family. For your parents...for what they had to see... I know that only God can heal wounds like those, so I pray earnestly for His healing touch for them and for you all. Love you and still praying.

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  2. I've read your blog a little here and there and I think you used to post on YQ Forums possibly. Anyways, I'm so sorry about your loss. I lost my close friend at 18, we were both 18, I'm now 22. It was the toughest thing I've ever gone through. I still don't understand it but God brought me and all of us through it. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers. May God bring you comfort through this hard time.

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