Monday, October 4, 2010

I have learned

I've learned I'm stronger than I thought.
A peice of me was taken when Jason's life was ended, but it has drawn my family closer, not torn us apart.
I have learned to not let the little things bother me.
I hug my kids more, kiss them when I can.
I treasure my family and thank God for them.
I'm learning to bite my tongue when it's needed, and speak my mind when I should.
I listen to what people say to each other, and think, "don't you know that doesn't matter?! Why are you saying that?! Why would you hurt someone like that and not care?"
I dread going to WalMart,
Little things make me cry, who knew pumping gas could bring tears to my eyes? Or seeing a shirt Jason would have liked?
Just saying "I was the oldest of seven" Breaks my heart.
This is the picture that will go on the marker. Lookin at it makes me sad.
I have alot of pics of Jason, and the most recent ones, he looked so sad. Getting him to smile was hard.

This post was supposed to be a happy one! About what is new in my life, and here I am going back to Jason.
I wanted to put how Nehemiah fell and hit his eye but he's ok.
I meant to put how Sissy's eczema is clearing up. Maybe I didn't b/c I put all that on Facebook, I'm doing my best to not be depressing to talk to, to dwell on the positive.


  1. I am still keeping you and your family in prayer. Losing a loved one is one of the toughest things. We are so blessed to have God to trust in and loved ones to hang onto in times of distress. I've heard this song recently by Austin's Bridge, and it has been a blessing to me. I pray it brings strength to you as well.

  2. ...when I look at the picture I have hung in my cubicle at work, it seems like I hear his raspy funny giggle as he ran away from you when he was a little toddler...and how cute his curls were to the point he looked cutter than Victoria, with her bows on...He will always have a special place in my heart...along with all of the rest of encouraged Maria...Love you girl!

  3. thank you for the prayers, we sure still need them.
    Keila, he was a happy little boy wasn't he?? It's heartbreaking to think how sad he was the last few years

  4. This is so touching. I know you must be going through a hard time now, but honestly I can't truly comprehend how it must feel. But thanks for reminding me not to take things for granted, especially loved ones. Make the best of what you have, appreciate the small things in life, and live for the glory of God. It's sad how it's always the hard times that give us that wake up call. You and your family are in my prayers. God never gives us more trials than we can bear!

  5. It's okay if you want to talk about him in your next post too. I'll read that one too. ((hugs))