Knowing

Do you remember the moments that changed your life? 

I do. 

I remember the moment I knew my Grandma was really dying. Mom had been going over to their house every night, and I finally asked my Dad why she hadn't been at work. He told me Grandma wasn't doing well. I was 17, it was a Monday night, we were in front of a cubicle by the entrance. It was then that I knew. I saw her the next day. The day she died. I didn't tell her good bye b/c I knew it was the last time I'd ever see her, but I couldn't do it. 

Nov 7, 2006 I walked in the front door after getting a bunch of phone calls from different people. Jesse told me, "There was an accident, Grandpa and Evelyn died" When I fell to the ground, it was Jason who picked me (and my purse) up. 

I was at Kewpee when I got a text that Josh had died. 

I was at my kitchen sink when Mom called to tell me that Jason died. I can still hear her voice, I can hear her screams. I remember what she said to me. I grabbed both kids and drove like a wild person to my parents house. I didn't realize until much later that I never took my apron off. The next few days were a blur, but I won't forget the moment I knew. 

As bad as those memories are, I knew the moment I was a child of the King. I'd gone to the alter, just to the right of the pulpit. I cried, I had snot coming out of my nose, and no tissues around! I felt a huge hand on my back but didn't stop crying out to God to see who it was. I remember Bro Lonnie telling me that I needed to get baptized. 

I knew the moment that they put Nehemiah in my arms, that I would never be the same, I knew I'd fight the world to protect this little boy, and I'd love him no matter what. 

The moment I held Virginia that life was going to be different with two. I had my Prince, I now had my Princess. 

I can't wait for the moment that I'm the Mom of three!